Life is full of choices.
I dont really get a say in those.
What should I know anyway, I'm only fifteen.
Because of this I dont know anything.
I don't know how I feel or my sexuality or any of the right answers to "grown up" problems.
What should I know about who I like.
What should I know about separations, and divorces. What should I know about rape, sexual abuse, or physical abuse.
What should I know about having to make hard decisions.
I havn't lived long enough to gain enough experience.
Well I know about who I like. To me a relationship is when there is a strong connection between two people that they don't share with others. Its not always about sex. Its not always about gender. To me, that connection can be made with anybody.
I know about separations. I know it can be hard for everyone in the family. Not just the children. Not just the parents. I know it is hard for me. I know it is hard for my Mother. I know it will be hard for my Dad when he finds out.
I know about rape. I have been raped.
I know about sexual abuse. I spent six years going through that and longer with physical abuse. Being beaten and hurt. Crying out and nobody helping.
And I know about hard decisions. I have only made a few but I know how difficult and painful they can be. I had to choose between parents. I had to choose my future. I had to choose to report my own brother for hurting me for so many years. I had to turn in family. My mother blames me. And I guess in a way it is my fault.
I know I am still young. I was robbed of my childhood and forced to face realities that no child should have face. I don't have as much experience as others, but I still have experience. I still have feelings. My age does not make me dumb, and does not mean I can be ignored. I am as much of a person as ever one else on this earth and I will not be belittled anymore.
I do not know everything.
I dont even know everything about myself. This, however, does not mean I know nothing. I am proud to be who I am. And everyone else should be proud of who they are. I have a story. We all have stories. We all have pains and we all have problems. Age does not effect these problems. They are still there.