If distance makes the heart grow fonder
Then we are really ******* far away
And I know that this is what you wanted
But my heart pulls me further down each day

I thought that maybe in the jungle
Rain and mist would wash away my pain
But even in the heart of the blackest night I’ve ever seen
That flame blinded and raged inside of me

Another flame  burns when I think of that other night
The darkest night I’d ever seen
When your eyes were clouded with so much doubt
So I couldn’t see you anymore

And I hated the way you looked at me
When you told me you didn’t want me to be part of your life
Sitting here now, a million miles away, these words are still hard to write
But I can’t ignore it

I wish that we could be together today, on our anniversary
And I wish we could be with eachother everyday
Even though I know “every” is a word I’m not supposed to say
Anymore

Every, always, never, right, forever
What do these words even mean?
I’m not sure they mean anything
Anymore

But I miss the way we used to say these words
And I miss the way you used to pull me in so cluse
Instead of pushing me away
We are so far away Dearest

I fear that if I get too close to you
Love will congeal to terror again in your eyes
And I’m afraid of hearing your voice rise
To say you don’t want me
Anymore