that rain and the soiled
streets of our muddy hometown,
i remember my hands
soaking wet
and the in-between spaces
of my finger nails were
***** from hard work,
i ease the tension
in my veins with a cigarette,
smoking in the rain.
how my body shaked
from the cold and i thought. .
i must be alive
and surely death is
miles and miles away
and i've got to carry
this heavy machine
as Christ to his cross.
i spit some blood
but from my own doing
and witnessing so. . .
yes, i must be,
truly,
surely,
******* alive
in euphoria
like a *******
and yes i was drunk.
drunk after the graveyard
the shift
and i smoked and smoked
for i was willing to
spit some more blood
but my mouth was dry
but my eyes weren't.
i wasn't trying to prove
anything and i already
know the people from this
age of internet too well.
i wanted to run
with this violated lungs.
i wanted to sing and scream
with this smoke fried throat.
i wanted to empty
all of my desires.
i wanted so many things but
God, you made me in your own
image but unlike you i'm an
immortal being.
the soil the mud the rain the desires
the smoke the people who read this your creation my narcissism the arabs the people who read this and their view of me as pretentious the sick ******* who derailed me the rain the rain the rain the smoke in the ******* rain the smoke in the ******* rain