another night spent lying on a flat surface
and an empty wine glass
beside me

the thoughts arrive swiftly and I am
defenseless

nothing at this instant matters more

the lights
the dancing
the nights spent beside you in dark
spaces of gleeful bars filled with dejected patrons

crowds of people, yet you were
there
uniquely
standing quite with a mere smile

the type of smile that makes you believe
in something more than yourself
something more real
than what’s here

the times we’ve shared on
beaches
empty towns
couches

you were provisional
liminal
temporary
subject to exit

and you did one afternoon,
exit

you had reverted back to your
old lover

your true companion

myself, accepting, understanding of the situation
I informed you of my grievances yet paid no attention to the truth
the truth that rotted inside me

now its spoiled, sour and purple

and you come pouring out of me.
and I lay here shivering

how i miss the old days
how i miss the old days

there is no return

only swift thoughts