It pains me
Because your so happy when it comes to me
But I just don’t want to hurt you
You can be happy and gleeful and ecstatic
But I can’t really feel that anymore
Now I only feel three things
Sober
Sober is work
And work is no fun
Drunk
Drunk is freedom
And freedom is fun
Even if it’s all just a lie
And Empty
The last thing I can feel
Because if I’m not working or I’m not drinking I just feel nothing
Just
An emptiness inside
A pain that doesn’t quite hurt
But I can’t ignore either
I haven’t felt much for the last three years
Because before I was happy
God I was happy...
But she took my very soul and burned it till there was nothing but ashes
I scrounged through the ashes looking for a shred of sanity
And all I found was a few embers of what once was
The last time I tried to ignite them
She ran away and told me we shouldn’t
That we were friends
And we shouldn’t change that
Because it can turn into something beautiful
But if
If it just disappeared then we wouldn’t be able to go back
So now I’m deserted
Left with one
Just one ember
Of what once was
I really hope it can burn forever
But you’ll probably douse the flame just as it lights
Please
Just don’t be cold
Don’t wash me away...