Trying to get up again
Trying to start up again
How many times, how many times yet

Staring at the ceiling, trying to find the cracks
The light creeps in, in millimetres towards the dank
Of this floor, where I can see still the shadows of clothes you used to throw
Hear still, the clicks of those red heels my ears long for
The cracks, they’ve opened up again
And in waves, you leap up again
(and in waves, you leap up, sweep me in)

Your dimpled pillow remembers yet the weight of your heavy eyes
It breathes your share, recoils in your sighs
In the air swirls your perfume again
Like rain water whirling down a clogged drain
Like smoke rising up from a just-snuffed flame
Like my poems for you caught in endless refrains
Again, and again and again and again

Trying to get up
Trying to start up
Better brush my teeth and shave
Get smart up again