It tears me to pieces-
knowing that you belong to her,
and not to me.
But how?
You told me you wanted more,
you told me you loved me,
you acted in a way that made everyone else
believe that the words you had said to me
were the truth.
Then maybe one day,
you will sing for me.
Maybe one day,
you will hold me close.
Maybe one day,
you will be mine.
But today is not that day.
It should be,
but that day is not today.
I can see it as if it had been planned:
You will have called me when I was too busy to pick up the phone,
and then waited for me to call you back.
You would have held my hand as we walked from class to class,
and I would have trusted you.
You would have gently kissed me,
and I would have kissed your soft lips back.
You would have let me fall asleep in the comfort of your arms,
and I would have breathed in sync with the rhythm of your heart
beating against your chest.
You would have sat there with me,
and I with you,
and there would be no need for anything
other than understanding of silence.
But none of this is for me right now.
This is all for her.
Because she gave you everything at the price
of being caught committing a crime,
and I,
I gave you everything at the cost of
my heart,
my mind,
and my soul.
I love you.
with every piece of my heart,
with every shred of my soul,
with every thought that passes through my mind,
and with every word that falls from the tip of my tongue,
I love you.