Standing here
Looking around
Weighing my options…
I realize I have two-
Nay, three- options from which to choose.

First, I could go back.
I could run.
Run from this ledge,
From hope…
From you…
Back there is the place of comfort.
I have built my palace equipped with stone walls and guards.
It’s a place of safety.
Boring
Lonely
Safety.
Complacency.
Where everything is predictable and everything is expected.
I could run back to that.

The next choice is the other extreme.
I could go forward.
I could jump Head over heels,
off this cliff into the waters
Where there are unknown creatures-
Maybe even monsters-
Lurking at every turn…
But the thing is,
IF I jump
I am hoping
And praying
That you would catch me
And we could fight off
The unknown monsters
Together.

As I look into the abyss that is before me,
wondering if i’m even ready for that adventure,
wondering if we would be a good team,
wondering if we could even make it without hurting
or killing each other,
I realize My last option
Is to stand here
Enjoying the view from this place and
Patiently waiting-
Waiting to see if there is a sign
That would let me know if I should push closer to that ledge
Or run back to my protection-
And hoping that maybe,
As I stand here contemplating which form of suicide I should take,
You would decide to come to my rescue,
Take my hand,
And lead me
To that place where we fight the unknown together.