Pillowtalk

Unraveling my mentality i stick to a thought and feel a motive,
Feeling in my throat...i speak with conviction,
Tough to swallow,Too thick to be shallow i think and speak to hear my tune,
Slow lip movement to accompany the steady feelings of love in the rain drops.

I speak with no emotion but i think of my evoked preferences,
At times i’m guilty of what i said and i lay beside the pillow in my bed,
My speakers are turnt up to drown my thoughts before i fall asleep,
My phone stays on vibrate as the sound of communication is too much,
I don’t want to speak, i don’t want to think and i don’t want to feel.

In the mornings it’s been hard getting out of bed,
My bed is warm but my pillow is wet from the sweat made by my nightmares,
Sunlight dangles instead of the curtains and the glass of water from midnight condensed,
Just like the in the past when the great depression occurred...i survived to make it here,
A new anti-climatic chapter in feeling regret but patient in my future,
Nothing really ends in my mind,
Infinite loops and passions just sit within me,
Lazy realizations are factored within these. These?
These revelation and emphasis on mental instability,
Strange as it sounds I'm ok today.

Last night... it rained last night,
The air was cool but not quite right,
My speaker made a low hum I tried to imitate,
I tried to comfort myself from the chills I felt.

I looked at my phone and mouthed the words I saw,
I was upset so I played my playlist called pillowtalk,
The speaker began to speak again,
This time I drowned in my own thoughts.
I fell asleep but I didn't wake up again...like ever,
Though this is true I was always ‘woke’ in the memories I spoke.