I fill my heart with rage thinking love will knock on my door.
**** flat on a floor,
Expectedly watching the door.
Seating in this dark old room filled with smoke,
My mind seems to be as foggy as this room
Yet filled with clear memories of her face,
****!
My mind spins hard with forbidden memories.
I seat up straight trying to get a smoke but all I see is this empty pack of cigarettes.

An hour ago I thought I would make it.
Chainsmoking my time away hoping the nicotine would be the perfect replacement.
You have always been my drug of choice but all you left me with was pack of cigarettes a substitute.
I have to admit
It didn't quite hit the spot.

I drown my sorrows in cravings for you to touch me.
Touching my lips as we kiss passionately.
I'm craving for the smell of your fragrance,
For it to awaken my senses and fill my lungs.
You filling me and I, feeling you.
I don't know what I miss more, these cigarettes or you.

I'm light headed with a splitting headache.
Reality slowly kicking in,
I feel the blow right on my heart.
I need an antidote for these aches.
A huff or a puff,
Maybe just the sight of you.
Something to bring me healing and a dose of calming effect.

I have nothing left but hope
They say hope killed nobody
But that's where the danger lies
For I am a nobody
Who's hoping you can accept a walking corpse with ashtray lungs and a scarred soul.