Shy
Wondering
Afraid to say what I feel
What I want

Scared
Stumbling
Words sticking in my throat
Dying to confess

Sweet
Innocent desires
The things I'm supposed to want
I do want them...

But
Underneath
There are deeper, darker wants
Dark, scary needs

Lust
Hot, heavy, stifling
Suffocating me with the weight of its urgency
Things I couldn't ever say

Shame
I feel...wrong
***** for wanting those things
For needing them

Yearning
I want to be hurt
I need to be controlled
To be shamelessly used

But
I can't tell
I can't make my brain let my mouth
Say the words burning inside me.

I
Can't
Tell him
How very badly
I need him
To forget
Just for a few hours
That he loves me
And only think
How much
He wants
To use me