this year I learned that people will call you beautiful yet will never hold you together once the stitches fall out of place,
applaud you for being so **** strong
and that's all they will do, sit in the sidelines, marvel at the way you take every blow,every cut,every burn
maybe you really are just another exhibit for lost souls

months have slipped from my grasp,all that it taught me is you will be adored for your ability to find sanctuary in your solitude,everyone too oblivious to notice maybe there are layers to peel,there is a glass to break,there are barriers to crush
remember the stories you told, how they treated your words as gospel but sin against your name,stain your pages recklessly aware that guilt and hurt could be cleansed with forgiveness

someone will admire the spaces between your fingers yet will never fill them, look into your eyes to compliment them but not enough to see you
and maybe you sang them a lullaby, whisk them away to sleep that will take away the ache in their souls
however, not everyone stays like you,they will wake up and chase their real dreams—which you were never a part of
maybe you painted away all the silver clouds in their skies
maybe you wove warmth and comfort on their sleeves while yours were just tattered and torn

you will be told that you are not alone
you are loved,you are wanted
you don't have to be on your own
you are the best ******* friend in the whole ******* world
you matter
but you really don't
since words are just words
their power I could easily dilute
break them down to what they really are:
reflections of the beings that utter them

that is it, sums all of it up
happy ******* birthday
happy ******* new year
I hope you live a long,happy life
I hope you don't spend sleepless nights,asking over and over again why it hurts the way it does

when all you wanted to feel,all you wanted to do this year is know how it feels to be truly loved, not just for the sake of the things that make you who they think you are
I do not want to be beautiful nor graceful
I do not want to be strong, conventionally admirable
I do not desire to be smart,to be the good daughter
I do not wish to master any of her art
I do not long for her traits that makes you want to hold her
I do not ******* want your compliments,I have no ******* need for your encouragement, there is no room in my heart for your good words
- W.