we form our own reality.
I see it now- everything is truly what we believe it to be.
And that sheer knowledge has made my inner balance teeter of late.

there is just so very much to understand...and then reference. ----that it becomes daunting.
I can see that it's truly my thoughts but I never seem to be able to slow them down fast enough when I so need to.
It appears to be an unending thirst to play-
to know what I want -
to have the patience to propel the desire.
It's humbling when you realize it.
All that is- is on a grid of sorts...

And that there is something you should enjoy but yet can't keep you wheels in the same direction long enough.
It's spaciously lonely.
a fork in the road that joy appears to be chosen
but its bricks always lose their guiding yellow.

And when you look inside there maybe really is nothing except what you've been told and now they are your beliefs.
I always seem to end up beside the river of beliefs.
And I can see why man had to create a savior.
It's hard to realize how much pain you've inflicted upon yourself -
selfish painful jabs at ones that betrayed you as well.
Never even coming close to an ember of their being
shredding yours in the poignant process.

You were told you were bad because you were bad
and then you became worse
and it gave you purpose.
You were good at being bad-
you like the spilled milk and spiked brows.

You were the beautiful one.
It was not nurtured properly.
I can see glimpses of it-
yet completely out of reach.

I like it turned down a bit now
~with anything.