I met you and knew I would spend eternity with you. I knew I'd roll over every morning and see your half awake smile and messed up curls and know it was worth cashing in every bit of good luck I had left. In fact we wed. Through triumph and failure we made it work and tied the knot. And now within weeks I feel as though my life with you is crumbling. Like I can't do anything right.

I fought through everything we argued over and compromised my life to be with you. I gave up hopes and dreams and suffered through hardships. But tonight... I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do. You hit me. You broke me. You told me to get out and smacked me. My face still stings from the pain. Is still warm from where your hand met my face. You make me want to die. You have pulled up anxieties I had long since buried. I am scared of you. I am scared you will find someone better. I am scared you will leave me and now I am scared that I'll mess up and you'll beat me...

The crazy part is I don't know if I'll stay. I want to because I love you but I don't know if I can live in that fear again... I don't know if I can continue to live in that fear...