the beginning of the new me came,
shape-shifting curiosity that not only killed my cat
but also my best friend.

he was a boy,
i was a drunk girl that texted him "i love you" whilst lying in a bathtub with
another girl

and i swear we weren't kissing
we didn't even hold hands
but that night i slept next to her and i knew

the fire that resides in the pit of my stomach had only burned like that
for a millisecond
whilst i was kissing him
and holding her.

it didn't end perfectly for us, but i was her first girl and she was mine
even though love decided to pass our door that morning, we still had lust
yet it wasn't enough

and i haven't forgotten
the way strands of her hair felt tangled up
with my *****-ridden tongue