Oh, the Lord spoke to his wandering flock, with
the love and authority that only a father could
possess. His word is powerful, uncompromising,
but he still keeps the gates open, giving us the
option to wander off a cliff or into the fearsome
jaws of wolves.  And we all walk through the
gate, even though he has trusted us to stay put,
even though he has given us all that we need.

I wish I was more like the Lord, so that I could
love you without condition.  I try my best to
forgive as you walk through the gate I built.
I try to be patient, but I don’t always have it
in me.  I break down, I become angry.  I do not
respect as He respects us.  For that, my apologies.

The Lord knows what we are and what we will
be.  His patience cannot be measured.  What is
the span of a life to the Eternal?  He can wait.
He can bide his time.  He knows the moment
in your life that your heart and soul will be most
responsive to his glorious message, his Gospel.  

If I could have a fraction of the knowledge of
the Lord and know when you will receive my
Gospel, my heart would be at rest.  I love
you with all my soul, but my will is not as
strong as the Almighty’s.  I can be tested, I
can be unruly, I can be unreasonable.  My
scope of understanding is limited, childish
in comparison to that of our mutual Savior.

Maybe my message isn’t something that you
are meant to receive.  My message could be
white noise, subtle as the spring rain.  But maybe
I can use the written word as the Lord has.  I do not
have loyal servants who feel called to spread my
message, for it is only meant for one.  I have
written in convoluted puzzles and trivia all this life,
but for once, my message, my goal is plain.

Know that no matter what happens, my heart will be your own.