The one great enemy of all of those that perceive, is doubt. How it floods my watering mind, leaves me crashing amongst the waves of esteem and confidence. When I am least aware, that is when the little viral thoughts return. Infecting all that I am, and all that I am trying to become. Time so constant that what has happened, has transpired only to lead us to what is happening, and what will happen. It is what it is. What it is not, it cannot ever be. My past is what must be embraced in order for me to move forward. Years have passed, bringing me forth to this very moment where I am finally ready and willing to do just that; embrace what I cannot change. A wild memory of a memory, it was your words that reawakened a purpose, a meaning, a way of life within me.
I will not be a prisoner of doubt if I willingly choose not to do so. The chains I unknowingly placed around my very mind have left scars; wounds that have become a commitment to my flesh. A girl once told me, when I made my self vulnerable to her with my inner workings, that my scars can only tell a story of which I was once in pain, and have now healed. I now understand that the those wounds within, the wounds that were not visible to the eye, cannot heal if they are not avowed. I was so fearful of looking into that which confines me, acknowledging that I was damaged, that I was only allowing myself to continue a life of pain. For too long my afflicted heart and mind was rotting and decaying inside. All because I was choosing a path of ignorance. But here I am awake, and ready to accept that which breaks my heart. Knowing that if i let it break now, the process of healing can begin.