even as i shrug i can feel it coming down
i see her last breath
the last breath i will see in many others
scarily alive, creepily deceased

i saw in her eyes that now she was truly terrified of dying
she had finally understood what makes people "people"

and i saw in her tears the very feelings i can't seem to express

forever the outsider, taking notes
feelings and patterns of conduct do not apply to me
writing away my blood and giving away my humanity

i won't form a tear, a whimper
i couldn't form a tear, my sister
i can't form a tear, resisted

i am
          useless      
in the face of pain