Tonight
Is not great

My insides don’t seem to want to belong inside anymore
But rather out in the open
With all their grotesque beauty

My heart has decided it wants to crawl up my throat
Pry through my teeth and beat on the hard ground
Just for the sake of proving it still beats

I sometimes wish I could be more like my mother wants time to be
Smart and witty, strong but not too strong, and thinner
So she can tell me how beautiful her wedding dress looks on me

If you hear my screaming in your dreams don’t be alarmed
It’s only my brain tricking your own
Because it’s grown tired of tricking itself