(count your blessings,
small adult with crooked teeth,
stop stressing:
everything is in your reach)

new names,
plastered in my sober head,
new games,
longing for another bed.

the future rises:
shining office, perfect blueprint,
new disguises,
wealth and power aren't distant.

I want
more than I had even known
I can't
have all the glories I've been shown

he is
nothing more and nothing less
a risk
a secret I cannot confess

they are
fantasies until I dare,
forbidden stars
but for now I only stare

I have
more than I have ever had
who cares?
if the price to pay is bad

I will
stand upon that golden stage
fulfill
every wish I ever made

I will
rest beside him once again
until
he will not call me his friend

I will
kiss her someday in the dark
instill
my longing in another heart

welcome
to the gift this age can give
welcome
to the grown-up way to live.