I Am
I am shy, intelligent, and self-destructive.
I wonder about the depths of space.
I hear the sound of the faraway galaxies calling my name.
I see the stars spelling my name in the night sky.
I want to feel the starlight running over my body like blood from a fatal wound.
I am shy, intelligent, and self-destructive.
I pretend to love myself… for him.
I feel the cool night air like the wind in the stars.
I touch the cold hard blade, I picture it sliding across my skin like a shooting star in the night sky.
I worry about the pain others will feel when I make my decisions.
I cry at the thought of him not loving me anymore, not caring, leaving me empty and alone.
I am shy, intelligent, and self-destructive.
I understand that life is hard, complicated and that sometimes it gets worse before it gets better but that doesn’t mean you can give in.
I say to myself “I’ll make it… or maybe I won’t.”
I dream of being free of my pain and being happy.
I try to please everyone no matter the cost no matter how much it might hurt me.
I hope I’ll make it out alive, that the scars will fade away, and that I’ll still be me.
I am shy, intelligent, and self-destructive.