Green.
Rolling train tracks
swooping under bridges
darkness; light
Speeding traffic,
Green.*

Forbidden; that’s what it was.
Don’t go there. Stay away.
Bad news. You know better.

That’s what she was. Beautifully
unattainable, but for those who know-
it is never that simple.

In my pursuit to have her,
there was a fear of getting caught,
there was suspension

Do you understand?

Nights spent slowly moving closer on couches
in the most subtle ways one blanket between us.

Necessity. A lie.
Be aware
be conscience. A lie.

She was in my bed many times
and I fell into the traps.

Perfect drama dreams, my mind created.
We would last to the end in our idilic,
honest related-ness.

                    Which would continuously

continuously                           remind me

I couldn't survive my lies,
that is what it was
and needed to be.