this boy is so hard to write about, he’s so different from the others;
he is boring
natural
typical
he isn’t you.
i want him to be you. i want him to be you so bad.
i miss us, i miss you, i miss your face, i miss your voice, i miss your warmth.
i cannot take my words and throw them to the ****** but i can sing them to the heavens,
i know God hears my one wish, that you will be mine again.
i am on my knees bleeding from my mouth, spitting up apologies and half-hearted hallelujahs, cracking my skull in half trying to be what you need.
love me, want me, choose me.
i am for you and you are for me.
why must this hurt so much? loving you shouldn’t cut me so deep, loving you shouldn’t keep me under the current, loving you should feel like fire in my veins and flowers in my ribcage
i crave a love so deep you could go for a swim in it, and maybe that’s my problem cause i only ever learned how to doggy paddle.
i’m screaming your name only you don’t hear me,
by the time the damage is done,
he is here taking care of me under his arms.
i imagine they are yours.