i used to know what i would write in my letter
what i would want to read in the letters from friends and family
i used to know who i would blame
who i would torture with the accusations
that could never be resolved from a coffin in the ground
i used to know that i didn't want to be the only one
i used to know that i didn't want to be any one
and i used to know that nothing she did
could ever bring me back
nothing she did would ever be enough to relight the snubbed out wick
i don't know any of that now
i only know the uncertainty
i only know the questions
i only know the black page in front of me
inked from the future that i don't think much about
i used to know that i was ready for the black to swallow me

now i know i i'm more fitted for the grey