There is no one in this world who will ever understand me like you,
no one has ever tried to make me love myself more than you have.
I am happy that you are happy, more happy than you about most likely to be honest.
It has been awhile since we have been around each other,
you have been mad at me.
I would have been mad at me too,
you love me and I wasn't loving myself.
I was angry too a bit,
cause I felt really, really alone.
It hurts so bad sometimes you know.
To sit there thinking about how little you matter to anyone.
Yesterday though, when you sent me that message.
I was ready to just disappear.
I have been here fighting so hard to get myself back.
I fought through the withdrawals of ****** and methadone
totally on my own.
It was hell and I fought it by myself and for the first time in a long time.
I won a fight, I was proud of myself.
No one noticed though,
Which is fine, I didn't need anyone too.
I just wanted to matter to someone,
I didn't have anyone and I hurt so badly I just didn't know what to do.
I hurt about a boy who has already moved on as I am still here staring at my phone
hoping he was gonna call.
I am living at my moms, the house I grew up in and I feel like I am so unwanted
in my own home.
I was ready to give up for good, to just disappear into the night.
It is hard when no one never sees the good in you anymore,
when they just think these horrible things about you.
Cause you broke when your life flipped upside down.
I handled it poorly but it didn't change me,
I was gonna just slip away with no one noticing.
Then you messaged me to tell you were getting married,
I mattered.
I am so happy for you, and I promise I wont miss this one for the world.
I am even happier though, that you thought about me in those moments,
cause you sent me a message to tell your news,
I knew I wasn't alone,
I knew I mattered to you,
and you matter to me too.
Yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever.