I watch as the snowflakes fall
Light      free      beautiful
all that I wish I could be
I feel the snowflakes against my skin
Cold       light      wet
The numbness within  me sets in

Winter is a conflicting season
my favorite yet worst season

I love the snow, the brisk air
The joy that's palpable in the air from the holidays spent with loved ones

Yet

I am defeated
empty
no reasons to be
but everything seems black and white
with a sad song in the background
mourning
over myself


happy holidays indeed