i have grown familiar with the feeling of hot tears rolling down my face, it seems this is where i always find myself
i woke up this morning eyes puffed, and when i washed my face i tasted the salty runoff from the night before

even sleep could not numb my pain, the scarce dozzy seconds between slumber and awareness i found comfort in feeling nothing, but all too soon my sorrow seeped in like a sickness

he said it was only temporary until he got better, 'be strong,' i tell myself 'for him', but my own selfish desires render me bedridden daring to dream a life without him

i never noticed how good i was at putting on a pretty face, his heavy words broke me in two, but i stayed together
the second he turned his back i crumbled in a way i have never before
it is now 26 hours later and at any given time i could spiral into a pool of anguish and heartache

this state of dejection is familiar, yet stronger than before, i feel i've lost all sense of what is good, and i wonder what goodness i have left in my life