my knees itch
i want to scrape them across the cement
only i may be able to,
with the tug of your hands
soft and gentle against my palm

i want to feel pain
i want to see the blood rushing
from my cracked skin
rip my body apart
the way you do
with all your words

hit me
tear out my hair
bruise my arms the way
i know you can

this body heals
or it dies
but your lips and
your hands
are stuck in my head
swirling around
pressing against my eyes
“i think i have nightmares
because i am lonely”

now i cant sleep
and you have your drugs
the images at night
haunting me

you leaving, stuck on repeat