i knew it from the first time i heard you say her name
that it was going to be curtains for us and whatever we had going on
i could tell it was a new dawn
it was something in your inflection
that sparked in me recognition and reflection
on the times in the past i had found myself erased
displaced
passed over - again - for whatever reason
as transient in others' lives as the changing of the seasons
because i am only kept around as long as i am needed
and when someone better enters the picture my usefulness is exceeded
so i fade into the background like a wallflower should
somehow feeling empty and misunderstood
because like everyone else i just long to be loved
but time and again i find myself shoved aside, passed over, rejected
trying to hold out hope that in the end i won't find myself neglected
but my track record thus far, it speaks for itself in my solitude
so i resign myself to a life at the longitude and latitude of loneliness and feelings unrequited
and tell myself that living this way isn't that bad, for inspiration is by emotional misery highlighted
so i channel the pain into my art, my poetry, my songs
and i just keep looking, hoping i'll eventually find someone who makes me feel like i belong
someone who won't pass me over because i'm not, perhaps, the feminine ideal, a struggle that's been lifelong
and it's not that i don't consider myself beautiful
but i know my beauty is unconventional
and you've expressed that it's not your cup of tea
(and i hope the wounding of my self esteem, feelings, and pride was unintentional)
but in the end i think i'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey
anyway