I'd trade your meaningless existence for a pack of cigarettes.
Don't think my hatred for you is anything special.
You're not special.
Just like the **** ups you hangout with.
Just like what you stand for.

I hope I'm coming across as rude because that's what you deserve.
You're a miserable ****.
The best thing you've ever done in life is inspire me to write.
And I thank you for that.
I give you a standing ovation.

Unlike at the theater, no one is yelling encore.
The hallow applause is nothing but good manners.
Something you were born without.
Never taught.
Never cared to learn.

Just roll over and die already.
It'd be the second best thing you've done in your worthless existence.