I think all those poems and those quotes about how you’re “always going to miss him, but you’re going to be okay,” are complete and utter *******. You wanna know why?
Because, in all honesty, you are going to be okay by forgetting about all the small details about him.
I’m not saying forget about the lesson that his being in your life has taught you.
I’m saying that you don’t need to dwell on the details of the abuse, or the heartbreak, when all it’s going to do is make you bitter, make you scream at your loved ones, make you cry on the sunniest days of the summer, and the most colorful days in the fall. I’m saying you need to forget about his blue eyes, because when he hurt you, you wanted to gouge them out anyways. I’m saying don’t let the sight of a black mustang tighten your chest, and sharpen a blade for you. Please forget his birthday, and don’t keep tabs on when his winter concert is. Remembering all this, and putting these days in your calendar will do you no good. Because a call or a visit from you was always the last thing on his wish list. An inconvenience to say the LEAST. I don’t really have to tell you all this, because one day after he’s gone, you’re going to get sick and tired of using all your beautiful brain power to remember all the PAIN. You’ll force yourself to forget, because you’ll begin to wonder why in the hell you actually thought holding on was a good idea. You aren’t always going to miss him, because who would miss being abused, and who would miss being someone’s last call, and who would miss being drown in the scraps from someone’s table like that? I still haven’t figured out why people are still telling you that missing him is healthy for you. Sure it’s normal for a bit, but please pretty please don’t let it consume you. Please, pretty please, just be careful, and burn the pictures, the memories, the regret right down to ashes.Because, regret isn’t what you should feel, honey. Freedom is.