He had his flaws.
Certain things, I just couldn't ignore.
But setting that aside for a moment, that man really loved me.
He was genuinely attracted to me- it wasn't just words.
I couldn't touch his arm without his body becoming covered in goosebumps.
He made me feel loved and beautiful all the time.
He made me feel safe and protected from harm.
He was always there for me. He took care of me when I was sick.
And he rushed to my aide whenever I needed him- no questions asked.
He even dried my tears and tried to console me every morning and evening and after *** when I cried over my ex- the love of my life.
And therein lies the problem... No matter how many things he did right or how hard he loved me-
it just didn't feel right to me because I could never love him that way.
I was completely inlove with a man who NEVER cared about me.
A man who hurt me physically and emotionally.
A man who stole from me and my children.
A man who lied and cheated. A man who wouldn't even touch me or sleep beside me most nights.
A man who never respected or appreciated me.
A man who never built me up because he was too busy tearing me down.
He made me to believe that his actions were my fault.
The worst part is...
I find myself still loving that man today.
I'm trying so hard to heal from it all, but it seems hopeless.
And it's all on me...
No one else could ever make it better for me.
I just wish that one day, I could find true and mutual love.
I want to be inlove with someone who loves me the way I love him... with every fiber of my being.