I would rather be addicted
To much less poisonous stuff
Something along the lines of
Drugs or violence
But you, never you
I am never okay
With or without you

I am never satisfied
With a simple hello
And an ordinary stare
Will never be an acceptable fix
I cannot see you because
My soul will perpetually suffer
But my heart jumps frantically
At the soothing possibility
Of a once again

And I don’t know why
My body loses its balance
As this craving reaches the limit
And it will not be fulfilled
By the thought of you
And how things once were

I would rather erase
This bittersweet taste
This memory of a high
I used to experience
By being your only source
A source of life and power
By being the sole owner
Of a feeling of completion

I would rather fix myself
If only temporarily
But you keep dragging me
Back to your colorful trap
And so I am never okay
With you I am not fine
And without you
I am equally condemned
Because I need
Your most insignificant reaction
To walk through my day

I would rather not be tempted
By your poison
But you continue to lure me back in
There is no escape for me
Because I will never be okay
With or without you