I struggle with how'd you'd feel if I would brandish my mind/I paint pictures but you can't see the canvas in mine/the perfect duality I am both damaged and kind/I pray that all these bad habits vanish, I'm trying/see the world with my eyes, there's no  vantage to pine/its a one that saw all of the best chances decline/like that day you quit school and left that campus behind/bad choices have been the worst bandits of time/and you tell me that it is but how can it be fine?/when a person like me is so bandaged and blind/there once was a point when you were outstanding and fine/but lately your way is something you ain't managed to find/maybe who I have turned into isn't how to be/maybe not being the greatest child keeps on clouding me/I think I have the right and the reason to keep doubting me/the water I chose to quench my thirst wound up drowning me/I feel like lately I've been living detached/too much outgoing and no one giving it back/this more potent than anything I've written in fact/I know you ask for the real but you getting an act/I think I'm too anxious, have I run out of patience?/I been through it before but it doesn't help with the latest/even when you look out for others your motives are selfish and I mean for heaven's sake all these times have been hellish/I see such an up on trouble in age/how do I contain all this bubbling rage/that only a few see cuz my subtlety ways/I'm paying more for it but can't double my wage/I'm up all night because my struggles a daze/me myself and I should be huddled to pray/tryna do too much at once and I juggle afraid/comes and goes still I jump in the puddles of rain/was once strong, now broken, that's how rubble is made/maybe it's my fault and God decides I'm humbled in waves/I never tell nobody so I haven't been lying/once again I'm paying for it, it's extravagant buying/my futures up in the air but it's not talented flying/I'm feeling others pain that I can't balance on my end/so many emotions it feels outrageous/I write and I write till I fill out pages/I wanna break this cycle but there's real stout cages/if I said I could handle it would you still doubt cadence?/and any relief on its way can't come fast enough/if you want the truth I feel I seen the last of luck/I'm tryna do my best so I don't flash my bluff/I'm tryna avoid a breakdown but this patch is rough/tell me how do you pick from such warring options/I wasn't even happier being poor and jobless/i take it each day but I'm not sure in progress/I say just think it through but I need more than logic/I don't wanna start feeling neglectful but what I'm dealing withs stressful/either it's not better or not true that this healing is helpful/the way I picture my life see it ain't photogenic/so why push yourself so hard when you don't know your limit?/God I'm feeling forsaken God I'm feeling Your hatred God I can't be more patient my life can't be more wasted/and I feel at this point most of my thoughts are desperate/and I feel like most of my decisions are reckless/do you learn more in the valleys than you gain versus peaks?/I feel like I can never have my anger released/I feel like I have failed to cage this dangerous beast/it's weird to feel happy but what's stranger is peace/and nothings come of it all man I hate your production/I don't know LoneA maybe your natures destructive/And the way that you been acting is deserving of Oscars/and I'm sick of the ways that you've adopted like fosters/you deal with the pain although none of its doctored/I just feel like I have run out of options/ so here we are, as I sit, writing lonesome is drear/I might never find a path for me that's wholesome and clear/you write paths to your thoughts just to close em in fear/has God sent you a message you haven't chosen to hear/it's no mystery to me I'm so certain I'm sinner/I should put all my flaws on the table like I'll serve em for dinner/so can you honestly blame me for not being positive?/if you knew you can't say I have no cause to give/I got problems and debts I need to pause to live/these words are my art but all I draws a wish/where to go if you got here trying to follow your mind?/if you so hungry why not try to swallow your pride/chew on that while you let your worries wallow inside/and you think you have the answers when you're called on to guide/My world is feeling cold it's probably like four degrees/everyone in my life has opened the door to leave/it's all I've ever known I'm looking towards the grief/I think it's become obvious that everything's worth more than me.......