I am currently going through
A rough time.
I have kinda been saying this since elementary school.
At first, it was the death of grandmother.
Two weeks before my eighth birthday.
I guess that was God was saying,
“Happy ******* Birthday, expect the rest of your life to ****.”
That Christmas, I found out that my “daddy”
Wasn’t my daddy, but my stepdaddy
And my real father was a pill pumping *******
Love you, dad, xoxo.
New Year’s my stepdad leaves my mom
And kidnaps my brother
We are homeless
My mom starts drugs
I am assaulted by my uncle
He sticks his finger in my mouth
I cry.
He leaves too.
We move in with mom’s new boyfriend
We starve
Get hit
Listen to them wither.
I cut myself for the first time
Foster care
Drunk man tells me I’m pretty
Until he found out I was a ******.
Maggots crawl through my floor
I write my first poem
I move.
Stop my mom from suicide
Stop myself from suicide
Drive a car for the first time
Mom meets another man
For my 16th birthday
He wants to make me woman
He touches me for months
Takes my pants off
I cry.
I don’t tell my mom
Then I do.
She kicks me out.
I live with my boyfriend.
My grandfather, finalizes his will
On thanksgiving.
I spiral down to the point that I hate holidays,
Find no joy in the regular days,
Feel nothing any day.
Hell.
Is what I am living in.