i found heaven;
between the pauses of his drunk voice at 1 AM
and when his finger travel down my spine
i found hell in the morning;
he’s only ever mine when his other girls are asleep
i found hell in his wandering eyes in other girls’ lips, neck, eyes
i found hell in boundaries,
i found hell in convincing myself he never love me.

i found heaven in loving him
i found hell in having to leave first