I write my twos differently now

And sometimes my sevens
I always thought I could use better handwriting

I like the page to look neat, put together
But as you can see my letters loop and swivel
Inconsistent

Can you really tell something about someone by the way their scratch looks on paper?

Can you tell I can't think of much to say?

I almost feel numb to the idea of this being real
I've watched for many years as boys hand me flowers, kiss my cheek, and give me an apologetic smile before they dash out the door, leaving all of their guilt and regret behind along with me

So it's hard now to see things the way I've always used to
I feel like there's a mask over all of the feelings I have ever felt for you
A mask that even I cannot see behind

I should feel excited, overwhelmingly happy, intrigued, and a little afraid but the only times I ever feel anything it is when I'm with you

When you hand is laced with mine or your lips pressed to my forehead

and in these moments with you, I know that when you leave
And leave you will, I will have a hard time looking forward

My perfectly crafted page will appear messy once again and the letters will continue to loop and swivel just like they always have

I just hope that my twos and sevens remain the same

I've grown quite fond of them