Oh my God, I love you so much.
It's killing me, it really is.
The strings of your being are constantly interfering with my life.
I can't think of anything but you.
The sound of your voice on the phone is soft and sweet
and your laugh is richer than kings.

You are too ******* yourself and not critical enough of those around you.
You are a wallflower and I'm sure you understand.
The energy field that your love creates is overwhelming and I let it swarm over me.
I can feel it in my heart and my fingers.
I cannot feel you though.

You are distant and vague.
A figure that my loving self conscious emits to keep me occupied.
I think of you as I go to sleep and as I start each day.

Do you think of  me?
I'm sure sometimes you do but they are more important things.
Prepping for school,
not killing everyone,
living.
These things are hard but especially for you.

You don't have time for me but that's all I got for you.
We can share.
Look at us and look at them and look at the strings of our being softly caressing the loneliness that is living.
Why? do we do this?
Why? are we so afraid?
Why? do I feel this way?
Why? can't you see the way I do?
Why? do we continue to suffer?
Why are you here and why am I there and  why can't we be somewhere together?