I see the
way
your eyes sparkle
when you talk
to him,
how he tries
to impress you
and how
you lap it up.
I never knew
until now
how my feelings
for you
could hurt me,
how I could
be jealous
of other guys.
But when
the two of you
shared
a smoke
under his umbrella
in the rain
my blood boiled.
I never knew
my feelings
for you
could cause
me pain.
I told you
about it
with anger
in my voice
and you said
you were sorry,
that you
didn't mean
to hurt me,
that you
would talk to him
and tell him that
we were a couple.
And now when
I bring it up,
I make light
of it.
I address it
with humor,
I tell you
it wouldn't
have bothered me
but I was tired
that day,
I wasn't feeling
on top
of my game.
Did I apologize
for being angry. No!
I am afraid
when I feel
so insecure.
You say,
"don't you
trust me."
and I say yes
but I have trust issues,
didn't you notice
that I always lock
my bicycle.