Well, at least i can't remember
the last time I woke in the middle of the night
screaming your name clutching the emptiness in my bed,
it was terrifying, i don't remember the dream
but I know I woke up needing the only thing
that was never, ever there.

And for weeks,
I cried myself to sleep
still clutching empty nothings
that made their way into my bed.

They still watch me sleep,
but are now at ease
that you and i don't talk anymore.
Self induced loneliness,
I suppose, because
you always said they weren't real.

Tying ribbons around my fingers
to remember to forget you
one day,
and
like theres a tornado in my head
I'll destroy myself
'til then.