Dark energy, mangled head space, recollections of fear and loss, love in the abstract, undefinable characteristics and no direction - future and present tense, tense, building up begging for release, a prisoner awaits punishment, a martyr is being born, when we know we know and when we don't we pretend, where is the future in all this, there is so much space and no anchor, adrift in a great abyss I saw them brilliant and pulsing, saints of a mystic power, in service to something incomprehensibly beautiful, I'm waiting here for a sign, some kind of blood or some kind of contract, I'm levitating off the ground, endless fire and unholy machinations, waking light on the pale skin of southern girls and I remember, I remember the way she cut through the tension and kissed blood and fire into all the ghosts haunting my body, it was the greatest magic trick I've ever seen, the separation of nervous brain and holy self, the unconquerable will of the unconscious shining through the leaves of trees and heavy clouds spurned by moonlight, I'm enraptured like this and swallowed whole, it is so easy to be consumed by all that context, trauma and bliss, dancing slow around an ever-exploding star, ******* what a light show they'll think of us, I think of Los Angeles and her bleeding sidewalks, I think of San Diego and her unmarked graves, I think of Chicago splitting its seams and revolutionaries all around, we're all praying for an end, we're all praying to get off the ride, we're all out here, we're all starving for something, I wanna know what your disease tastes like, I want to become so powerful I consume everything, I want something real, I want and that makes me alive, let me see where this leads