what am i doing? here? with my life? where am i going? why do i always want to die? am i one of the people meant for longevity? am i one of the people meant for young tragedy? am i meant to be here? why do i have all these questions? and why do they never stop pestering me? is this my life? does this qualify as living? as existing? will i be gone soon? do i want to be? does this ever end? what is wrong with me? what is right with me? will it always be this way? why? WHY?

i don't have a ******* clue.  but you smell like vanilla, so i'll hold onto that.