i am carefully stacking building blocks in uneven patterns
trying to keep going up
and i know i said i'd be there but if you lean against me i will topple into pieces again
i have to accept the truth that i am not strong
i am finally learning to take care of myself and it is lonely and it feels selfish
and i hate breaking promises
but i cannot be an anchor when i have no hold on the ground
i am a tightrope walker with shaking knees and two left feet
you say it's okay in a way that lets me know it isn't
and i stagger on the line
please, please, please
i'm trying to stay alive