thoughts race again
as the daytime flies by
only for the night to crawl past
waiting for morning to begin
i think i might just drown
in that ocean of sorrow
falling down deeper and deeper
wait till tomorrow
to find the answers
until it becomes clearer
im scared now
where does it come from
this emptiness
becoming emotionless
once again
this night
just never ends
i cant get the thoughts out of my head
and just rest
i long for answers
happiness and joy
to no longer to mourn
and scorn
myself
i lay restless in bed
searching
to find no end
to this ongoing cycle
of ups and downs
where to go
or what to do
no cant turnaround
now
too late to go back
you can never do that
you can only go forward
but why must it be
forward and back
not up or down
or left and right
who defines these things?
i can tell you its not me
im just ranting now
but how
shall i go on
and push forth?
if im not sure what im pushing for
or longing to be
im just me
used
confused
a good kid they say
only if they knew
the thoughts
that fill my head
while i lay in this bed
night after night
as i lose
this never ending fight
with my own life
how can i think to be with you?
or anyone?
if i cant be me
how can i be?
i dont even know me
i question who i am
i often wonder who i am
in this world
im lost
confused
broken
and scarred
as i say
but this life goes on
and so will yours
without control
its up to destiny
no other remedy