Insomniac

My head races
My heart pounds
I lie quietly and observe the sounds

I can not stop thinking
No matter how hard I try
It’s like I’m on drugs, all I want is to cry

However I don’t,
I hold myself back
Tonight is not the night for a panic attack

I feel drunk
Nothing is as it seems
All I can remember is flashes of awful memories

I am a failure
And I am gay
Only a few reasons I’m feeling so astray

Soon enough I’ll feel better
All the pain I have will fade
I’m so sick of having to always be afraid

Alone in the dark
All my tears stream about
Everyone seems so peaceful, why am I left out?

I hate being so selfish
It really isn’t fair
People have it so much worse, I don’t really compare

Hours have past now
The sun has now rose
I can feel the release as I start to doze

Finally to sleep I soon shall go
I feel better having had some time to think
That is until it feels like I’m going to sink

I close my eyes
And soon I’m long gone
Good morning world, it’s a new dawn