its really weird to see the handwriting of those you used to know. and to see their email, read their syntax and know they will never write you again. maine wasn’t the same with out her, and everyone knew it and we didn’t even talk about it. not that i was going to be the first person to bring it up, and i sort of wanted to avoid it anyway, because i was being so good about not crying for a while. papa was the only one that said something and he said it to me on the porch with just us. it had dropped twenty degrees and i wasn’t wearing socks and he came right over, a little drunk maybe, and told me that he didn’t think he’d find happiness after all that, but being in york with us makes it that much easier to believe that time will change that. then he patted my head, called me dan and went back inside.