It's all a blur
The memories of a girl I used to be
It haunts me when I close my eyes hunts me in my dreams
I’m smiling

It seeps in my mind flashing all the horrible things I’ve gone through
only flashes
I try to see more
all I feel is pain
                        
once upon a time

I had a gift that most never knew was there
as a kid knowing the desires to others was scary
knowing what they wanted was cruel
then I lost it

the day I was beat till I was black and blue
I lost it
all of it
my world, my childish life
I watched as it was stolen away from me
I became something I never wanted to be
I became a toy

I was the deceiver
I was used by older men for their own pleasure
being wanted was not what I asked for
only to be happy

Everything I saw heard let alone felt was a nightmare
sleep is something I don’t want anymore
sleep I don’t need
I’m strong
I’m a loving person

may never be happy again but still here
right here
in this cruel world of sadness
as its dark eyes look upon me

I wish sometimes I never ever opened my eyes
now I see everything this world is
I ask why I’m still here
everything was taken from me
then I see them

all the smiles that keep me going
all the people that love me for what I really am
I am needed despite how I feel

despite what I want to do I’m needed and when I’m not needed anymore I will leave
to a new place new time with more who need me
my problems will be pushed away as I help others
I won't see the problems
but
they will still lurk.