The Spongecrab was white as snow,
and covered in nubs soft like terrycloth.
"Don't ******* touch it!" they said, but I,
full of wondering anticipation at the sweetness
of the Spongecrab's entrails, and entranced
by the thought of running my hand over his
back, my palm pleasantly tickled by
the cute little Spongecrab... well,
I could not resist.

[This tale is not Snow White.
Happy endings, in all actuality,
happen rather rarely.]

I gaily chased my quarry as he
grapevined across the pale sand,
and just as I brushed his enticing shell,
I fell to my sudden death, heart stopped.
"Heed well the wisdom of Elders," they said,
the villagers; and that night, every villager
fed well on the succulent flesh of the Spongecrab.
A Spongecrab can always be opened if
one uses rubber gloves to open his pretty,
squishy shell, soft as terrycloth.