I keep trying to convince myself that I deserve to be happy.
I just can’t seem to find it.
At times, a ghost from my past gives me the false illusion that happiness is within my reach.
But then reality sets in.
The ghost suddenly vanishes, and I’m left alone staring at the clock through the blur of my tear-filled eyes.
Minute after minute, hour after hour. Unable to rest.
Afraid that I will be haunted if I close my eyes.
It is in those moments that I realize and truly understand- I could never be loved.
I will live out the rest of my days in somber solitude.
Smiling on the outside, dying from within.
Chasing your ghost is like fighting a battle I know I’ll never win.