I walked out into the sun today
Felt it's rays upon my face.
Emerged from my cave
Heart thawing ...shedding disgrace.

I couldn't feel joy there,
Even as I listened to their laughter.
I felt nothing. I'm not sure what I was after.

So I went back into my darkness.
Blanket over my head.
Wishing I could go to the place,
Where these feelings are dead.

I've tried so hard to be normal me.
I just can't seem to find her.
My compass is broken
My self awareness awoken.

So back inside I go
Where it's safe, tears like summer rain
A heavy hug of acceptance
I'm only sad ...not insane.